Blended Talk Soup

When people share time and space together, there are many conversations exchanged, many topics explored, many requests made and many “important” things to be heard.  There are many petes and repeats.  There are many petes and repeats. WHAT?

“Talk and listening” dynamics between two people occur in between the spaces of life in which we work, in which we are parents, in which we are friends and in which we play.     When people are in relation with each other over time and when they live together, it can become hard to differentiate among varying levels of valued importance with respect to expression.

Much dialogue blends together into “talk soup.”  Talk soup can create difficulty in relationships because one person might feel like she makes a clear and prominent request or statement to her partner.  Meanwhile, her partner hears that request or statement like all the other “blah blah blah” talk that is mumbled in the background.  The partner will often not remember what is said because he doesn’t realize it is important in comparison to the other talk.  As a result, either he will not follow through, or he will do or say something that reveals his not “remembering”.  Then he will get blamed for not being emotionally available, present or a good listener. 

The salient dynamics and aspects of talk need to be highlighted.  Time needs to be paused in communication and extra focus of attention needs to be brought to the ingredients of conversation that are important to bring attention.  A space for memory retention needs to be created. 

Digressing from the soup analogy for a moment and using a ‘season’al metaphor of another variety. . hot summer days might blend together into our memories.  If however, it hails on a given summer day and golf size ice balls fall to  ground, one will remember that day standing out in mind. . . .especially if one gets hit in the head . . .hahahah..  It’s not that we are that dense as human beings, not all the time anyway  . . . .lol . 

And it’s not that people aren’t good listeners or forgetful.  Sometimes those variables are the case, but often when an aspect of conversation gets missed, it’s equally the talker’s fault as the listener is to blame.  It is the talker’s responsibility to bring focus to the salt and pepper of talk soup.  If she doesn’t bring focus, by presenting the “Salient” and “Prominent” points, they will not be noticed.  It will not be remembered that these condiments are there or that they can or should be used again in the future.

If you take a look around you with your ears, you will begin to hear all the mundane “jibberish” people mumble.  So many of us fill minute after minute, hour after hour  with this opinion and with that opinion.  There is something to be said about her, some gossip to be had about him, a mumble about the colleague, a grunt about time of day, a complaint about the chores etc etc. .  The frivolous chit chatter becomes the blended talk soup that by default gets tuned out.

As the expression goes, “be impeccable with your word.”  In the literal sense of interpretation, this saying means to be honest.  I would suggest that being impeccable with word also means to selectively choose what you want to talk about, what is important to focus on and the impression you want to create of who you are and what values you have in the world.

Aside from choosing words that reflect who you are and/or who you want to be in the world, how you want to think and interact, it is also important to choose words that matter and are significant.  Each word, sentence and thought is external clothing of your soul.  Chicken Soup?  Hmmm.  Next time you open your mouth, ask yourself if you are sharing an ingredient that is worth digesting and mentally or emotionally ruminating on.  Is the flavor sweet?  Sour?  Bitter?  A wasted more’sal’???

Talking and filling time with chatter is often an external manifestation of internal attachment issues to other and/or existential relationship to purpose, reality and being. Furthermore, when one fills time with excessive talk, it often results in that person being less and less heard.  This tuned down volume results in the person talking even louder and it becomes a perpetual cycle of muted ingredients, all flavors simmered to blah blah blah blah.

Anyway, I guess selectively pruning all talk is a philosophical idealistic approach to communication – but remember when you can. . . . to pick and choose your word ingredients carefully – remember that slowing down time to appreciate and notice talk flavors is an important measure.  Intensify voice, affect and or repeat several times back to back the aspects of dialogue that you want to stand out in someone’s mind and psyche so that your relationship doesn’t turn into a “bowl full of mush”  . . . .or a quiet old lady might unconsciously whisper hush.  

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