LIVIN4d's Personality Parents: Orange or Blue?

Differences in Blue and Orange Parenting Types

Research

 37% of people are Blue (Many European descent)

63% of people are Orange (Many Asian descent)

 VIDEO

 

Understand your parenting personality color: Orange type or Blue type and gain more skills from the color type that does not come naturally to you such that you have a balanced way of viewing and responding to your child. 

Understand your personaltiy color type, your partner's type and your child's innate predisposition and have better communication skills to maximize understanding and bonding.

Stop the blame game and move into solution that is "base"d in hard science.  

For already existing research and peer reviewed scholarly articles, visit:

http://www.livin4d.com/research.html

"Body Talk"

Eding Life introduces Body Talk . . . 
Not only a modernized version of Gestalt and Experiential Therapy, but "Body Talk" is supported with scientific underpinning.  It is a modality you can use at home.

Move your being into the NOW of your life.  Release the full potential of your POWER by clearing your nervous system of unnecessary built emotional blockages. Without removal of these blockages, your system becomes like a river with a damn.  Your nervous system and associated emotions in your body will build and overflow with anger, sadness or anxieties.  The body's build of these emotions can result in altered neurotransmitter levels.  It can result in acting out or acting in behaviors including but not limited to:  rage, withdrawal, avoidance, irritation, depression, addiction, alcoholism, gambling food issues, cutting, sexual issues and more. 

Empower yourself and/or re-empower yourself.  Or .....

Learn who the self is in the first place?

Find expressive songs with lyrics that resonate with your psyche, events and relationships.  Express yourself to you, the universe and if you want.....to others. Understand how you truly feel on the inside by giving yourself a chance to become external with your emotions beyond talk.

Access your sympathetic nervous system (movement) to release trapped sedentary emotions associated with thought and neurotransmitters that are stuck within your parasympathetic nervous (non-movement) system and associated resting states.  It is these stuck emotional states building within your soma-body that become the damn of the river.  Control your "DAMN" with Body Talk.

The sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system work antagonistically with each other. Just as you would work out the triceps one day at the gym and the biceps the next day in order to balance the muscles of the body, so too does the nervous system need to be balanced, yet we provide no teaching and/or opportunities for this emotional balancing.  

If you just experience emotional builds in your parasympathetic state, with no training how to balance and release them via your sympathetic routes . . . ..you will never experience "swimming in the water."  You will only experience "reading and/or talking about swimming in the water."  Do you want to be the expert of talk of swim? Or do you want to be the expert of swim. (Remove the) DAMN.  It's pretty simple.

(I won't go too tangential here, but we don't even teach people to have talking relationships and functional dynamics, let alone body talk. I guess it's like the same concept of swimming.  We don't talk about talking.  Therefore ....we are great talkers of talking about talk.

Is it any surprise that divorce rate is 50%? and/or family courts are inundated with cases? No.  Hmm. I wonder why we don't teach people - beginning in elementary school?  What if people truly knew how to communicate without criticism while honoring the body, mind and spirit?  Would we need the amount of therapists? Lawyers?  Psychiatrists? and the related professionals to that field.  Tangent over).

Body talk alters somatic states and experientially honors emotions and trapped feelings.  It provides a direct opportunity for the decrease of stress, depression and other feelings of body & mind associated with undesired (acted in & acted out) emotions. Decrease depression by naturally altering dopamine states.  Decrease anxiety by naturally altering cortisol states.  Make intrinsic pathways between emotional states and body talk an easy "go to" route such that you have POWER of your verbal choices, behavioral choices and manifestations of you in your life.

Train your body to travel new psycho-somatic pathways of mind and body emotions that are beyond your traditional “tracks.”  Don’t just be “set” in your ways.....Move  "FOG I and FOG II" (of muscle and mind) in new ways for spiritual clarity. From a once AFAA approved personal trainer and group fitness instructor.

If you are really daring, and/or want to Edge your Life, try communicating with Body Talk to a loved one with whom you feel stuck getting across a certain point. 

"Family Fantasy Friends" operates with similar foundational underpinnings as "Body Talk." I'll be "blunt"......No such thing as a Dead End. Find new strands of connect, unless you want to cut.

For Body Talk and many other Therapeutic Tools, visit:  Edging Life

Talk level? Intimacy level? Emotional level?

Oxytocin Personality Scale [1-3], [3-5], [5-7]

What is Oxytocin?
Oxytocin is a hormone and a neurotransmitter.  When investigated as a neurotrnasmitter, unique personality attributes are observed dependent upon whether one has high level or low level of oxytocin.

Where do you fall on the spectrum? Where is she on the spectrum? 

If we know where we exist on the oxytocin spectrum, we can better understand ourselves and our emotional responses in the world.  We can better understand our learning styles, our memory patterns and our preferences for social interaction.  We can better understand parenting styles and sexual drives.

We can also better understand  his/her view of life, his/her behaviors, his/her emotions and how s/he operates in the world.

As a result of knowing oxytocin level ranges (Blue or Orange), we can better navigate our relational dynamics due to the acceptance of these innate personality discrepancies. 

We will no longer ask questions like:

• "how come you never want to have sex?" 
• "How come you can't see that she's upset?" 
• "Why don't you ever want to go to the party?" 
• "Why can't you remember when I ask you something?"

Instead, we will ask questions like:

• "Babe, I know you're orange personality type, but I'm a blue....what can we do to have more intimacy?" 
• "Hey honey....you're a blue personality type, she's upset but you are perceiving it more magnified than I think it needs to be perceived." 
• "Friend, I'd really like to go to the party together.  I know you are orange personality type and being extremely social isn't your idea of a great time....what if we go to the party and only stay an hour?" 
• "I know Blue kid.  ....you were having an emotional week from your breakup - I'm going to remind you that your paper is due this week (because chances are memory retreival is more affected by emotional response).

Are you starting to understand how personality navigation based on LIVIN4d's oxytocin level testing can help optimize relational dynamics?  It removes some of the blame, frustration and defense.  It provides blueprints for understanding self and other and eliminates much arbitrary psychological guesswork and overlay of assumptions.

One's oxytocin range is determined at birth. S/he can have 1/3 following oxytocin nucleotide genetic combinations located on Chromosome 3p25:

AA = lower levels of oxytocin (Orange)
GG = higher levels of oxytocin (Blue)
AG = higher levels of oxytocin (heterozygous form - some attributes of AA) (Green)

As Blue and Green personalities share quite similar attributes, for sake of ease, LIVIN4d has combined these two personality colors into Blue personality type when it comes to laboratory testing results.  However, in this post, subtle differencees between Blue and Green personalities can be understood.

Oxytocin Personality Scale assciated with psychological and disposition attributes:

5-7 = Most
3-5 = Intermediate
1-3 = Few

The below psychological variables are genetically determined.  They can be subtly influenced by environment but the framework is the framework.  By accepting one's innate personality type, LIVIN4d optimizes interactional exchanges between and among the different personality types by teaching  and understanding of skills to better connect.

BLUE                                                          GREEN                                     ORANGE

•   Trust: 5-7                                      Trust:  3-5                                Trust:  1-3
•    Fear: 5-7                                       Fear: 3-5                                  Fear:   1-3
•   Risk Taking: 1-3                             Risk Taking: 3-5                      Risk Taking: 5-7
•   Social Bonding: 5-7                     Social Bonding: 3-5                Social Bonding: 1-3  
•   Generosity: 5-7                            Generosity: 3-5                       Generosity: 1-3
•   Perspective Range: 5-7               Perspective Range: 1              Perspective Range: 1-3
•   Empathy: 5-7                                Empathy: 3-5                         Empathy: 1-3
•   Arousal: 5-7                                  Arousal: 3-5                           Arousal: 1-3
•   Monogomy: 5-7                           Monogomy: ?                         Monogomy: 1-3
•   Social memory: 5-7                     Social Memory: 3-5              Social Memory: 1-3
•   Aversion memory: 1-3                 Aversion memory: 1-3          Aversion memory: 5-7 
•   Flexibility:  5-7                              Flexibility ?                             Flexibility: 1-3

If you know the oxytocin level or genetic personality type of self and other, you will have much more control in outcome of the above variables as you can manage your approach and interaction accordingly.

If you are an orange personality type, you learn better through the use of less descriptive words.  You may not understand this written post due to some of the more abstract concepts, (not because you aren't smart). If you are a blue personality type, you will probably get this post.  If I were to write this post geared toward an orange personality type, I would state the following:

It's simple.  Orange talks less.  Blue talks more. Orange likes less sex.  Blue prefers more sex. Orange enjoys more independent activities.  Blue prefers social engagements.  Got it?

Cool.

Art of Listening: Chew on This

Edging Life

Listening is an art.  Dare I say it is a lost art?

Most people don’t know how to listen.  They respond with:

• Directives
• Opinions
• Tangential concepts
• Personal reflections 
•  Minimizing statements
• Leading statements
• No response at all

If the listener’s ego becomes involved, responses typically include:

• Defense
• Excuses
• Counter blame
• Comparison to previous experiences negating the listener’s experience
• Reference to a supportive army of others who would think differently

Without the talker stating his intended focus and/or the listener requesting this focus, the listener often doesn’t know the intention of the talker.  (Sometimes the talker doesn’t know his own purpose). 

As a result, the listener has no idea where to focus his ear and/or how to angle his response.  The listener doesn’t even know if an angle of response is being sought or there is simply a desire for mirrored reflection or imagined empathy if in similar shoes. 

If the talker shares more than a few sentences, the listener will often jump in with a response based on his perspective of importance to the conversation with respect to what has been heard.

Example:  “The woman at work Charlotte  talks all the time about how she thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her.” 

Without focused intention, some responses might include, “Just tell her to get rid of him.”  “You guys should stop gossiping and focus on what you’re supposed to do anyway.”  “Don’t let her rub off on you.” “She must have low self esteem.”  “Who cares.”

As you can see, there are many possible focuses and angles of response by the listener.  The talker will inevitably feel frustration toward the listener if the point the talker was trying to make was that:  s/he didn’t want to listen to these types of her colleague’s statements anymore.  Perhaps the talker was looking for imagined reflection of her own experience to colleague’s story (embarrassment due to association, frustration with regurgitation, boredom, exploration of her own ideas regarding the colleague’s insecurities, curiosity about how to influence the colleague to leave her boyfriend and/or if she should have an opinion at all.  Perhaps the talker was looking for guidance on how to communicate to the colleague that she didn’t want to be involved in this type of communication dynamic.   Without focused intention, the talker and listener lose connection and possibly even create friction if the art of listening is not cultivated.

Not only do the above responses interfere with good listening and feeling heard resulting in lack of connection, other variables should be considered for the art of listening as well.  While there is a talking and listening exchange, people should not:

• Have the TV and/or background radio turned on
• Be performing other tasks such as washing the dishes or typing on the internet
• Be looking at facebook or on the phone
• Be in a rush to get somewhere unless time frame for talk has been pre-agreed upon

Remember that face to face communication, possible eye contact,  tone of voice and facial expressions are also important  aspects in the art of listening in both the talker and the listener.

When people get to know each other better, and conversational focus is understood, complex responses to a talker might include:

• Language weaves of previous similar content examples
• Response questions
• Exceptions to “the rule” (if a negative viewpoint)
• Supportive references in agreement of “the rule”
• Reminders of what has worked and or been done in the past
• Imagined possible outcome scenarios……and much more. 

Keep in mind however, that the talker may not want to digress in his/her internal mental imagery by language tree-branching to different or related content from what is being shared.  Therefore when doing so, it is important to ask.

Using the above simple example, more complex responses from the listener might include but are not limited to: 

Language weave: “Cindy used to often talk negatively about her husband too.  How did that go?  Did it bother you?  What was different?  Did she stop talking about it?  What else did you guys focus on?   Does it seem to you like your colleagues have a tendency to talk about their relationship issues?  Can you respond to Charlotte in a similar way to Cindy?  Doesn’t Charlotte talk to Jack and Henry about the same thing? 

Response questions:  What about Charlotte’s talk bothers you? What are you looking for in my response to your share?

Exceptions to “the rule:”  Does she talk about other things?  Last week it sounded like you guys were connecting when you were discussing politics and going dancing yeah? 

Agreement to “the rule:”  “Yeah.  You’ve been mentioning this now for 6 months.  Do you think she’ll do anything about it? 

Imagined possible outcome scenarios: “Do you still want to be friends with her?” “Do you think she’ll ever stop?”  “What about her talking about her boyfriend cheating bothers you? “

The talker often just wants to feel heard.  Feeling heard is typically not experienced when the response is, “oh. I see.”  Or “Ahh.”  As mentioned, sometimes, she wants perspective opportunities, empathy and or questions asked. 

It is not uncommon for a listener to feel like, “I don’t care about Charlotte and what does this have to do with me?  How dumb etc.  Therefore, the listener will not entertain engagement with respect to the content. 

Keep in mind that we do not all share the same interests of focus, nor are we affected by the same things.  If we care about the person with whom we are sharing communication, it is important to suspend the self for a short period of time, to listen and to make an effort to engage.  If you are a listener, be conscious of the extent to which you respond with the above variables.

For Skype and/or in person communication sessions, contact Lily Kotila by email or phone:

(619) 750 2218 (United States)

(619) 822 2072 (International)

oxytocin and emotions, behaviors

http://www.snpedia.com/index.php/Rs53576

GG Blue personality type more affected by childhood trauma: Beyond Gender

What type of child do you have?  A blue kid or an orange kid?

"Don't cry like a girl."  It's not about boys or girls. Why? ? ? ?

Because . . . . research demonstrates that individuals with Blue personality type are more sensitive to impacts of childhood traumas in comparison to Orange personality types of both the AA and AG form.

Blue personality types also benefit more from from increased parental love and attention to assuage childhood traumas than Orange personality type children.

https://www.istss.org/education-research/online-learning/recordings.aspx?pid=AMREC10-03

For more research visit:  http://www.livin4d.com/research.html

Livin4d provides an opportunity to transcend society's gender constructs associated with emotions.   It provides a "tabula rasa" "blank slate" platform in which to examine human behaviors free of previous assumptions and stigmas.

The next generation of children has an opportunity to understand personality through a scientific lens in comparison to a socialized conditioned lens.  The different ways in which children are affected by trauma due to innate varying oxytocin levels (Blue & Orange) is only one of many innate differences between the two genetic personality types.

Have you heard of “Oxytocin Nasal Spray?”

Oxytocin nasal spray is used by people for a myriad of social reasons including to: 

• Increase empathy 
• Increase feelings of love and bonding in monogamous relationships
• Increase social recognition of facial expressions by parents in children (such as evaluated by the facial recognition test)
• Focus attentiveness to relevant social stimuli
• Increase trust
• Decrease fears and anxieties with respect to people
 

Oxytocin nasal spray is utilized for various medical reasons as well including to:

• Inhibit the development of tolerance of certain drugs including:  opiates, cocaine and alcohol
• Decrease appetite
• Alleviate Asperger’s and Autistic symptoms
• Assuage schizophrenic symptoms

In the United States, Oxytocin Nasal Spray can be prescribed by your MD or psychiatrist. It can be obtained at your local compounding pharmacy, as can other effective drugs not yet approved by the FDA.

Due to denaturing of the Oxytocin molecule in low pH or highly acidic environments, Oxytocin is most effective when delivered into the lungs as opposed to transport via the digestive tract into the stomach. Hydrochloric Acid (HCl) in the stomach would so rapidly break down the Oxytocin  that it wouldn’t have a chance to get absorbed into the blood stream, nor would it be circulated around the body or last long enough to cross the blood brain barrier.

Oxytocin nasal spray must be refrigerated and administered every 6 hours.  For some individuals, the results of nasally administered oxytocin can last a lifetime.  For others, the effects wear off.  This discrepancy in efficacy duration may have to do with which varying forms of genes located on chromosome 22 (to be discussed in a future article).  Perhaps some individuals rapidly break down the oxytocin molecule whereas others do not. Rate of breakdown is dependent upon whether an individual is considered an ultra rapid metabolizers or a slow metabolizer.

If one in need does not experience lifelong effects of oxytocin nasal spray, it would be helpful for these individuals: be tested for chromosome 22 variances (reimbursed by some insurance companies) and possibly be administered higher levels of Oxytocin than the "average."  Another possible option for administration might be to taper on and off of Oxytocin over the course of time as a method of attempting to "trick the body's" adjustment ability.

 Social observances of individuals who benefit from Oxytocin Nasal Spray are so incredible, they can be related to the movie Awakenings in which Robin Williams plays a lead role.  In the movie, patients are administered a drug that brings patients out of a catatonic Encephalitis Lethargica state.  Unfortunately, the drug is only effective for a short duration.

Based on the reasons for administration listed above, if you think that the Oxytocin Nasal Spray medication might be helpful to you and/or one whom you care about, it is suggested that you be an advocate for your own health.  Many medical and psychiatric providers don’t think outside the box and aren’t ‘adventurous’ enough to look at medication options outside of FDA approval.  Furthermore, many people including trained professionals haven’t heard of it as an option.  It has been somewhat explored as a supplement in certain couple’s therapy scenarios.

Lily J Kotila is not an M.D.  She was a high school Biology teacher in Washington D.C. and she is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist in California. This article is not intended to be medical advise.  This article is intended to educate people and provide new insight and ways of thinking about Oxytocin Nasal Spray, compounding pharmacies, genetic testing etc.  (What an interesting society in which we live).

Co-parenting Therapy for the coparent of a Narcissist coparent

www.livin4d.com
Narcissism can also be defined by low oxytocin levels.  Livin4d is a non-pathological approach to understanding differences in social behaviors.  Either therapeutic approach  makes sense.  Your view . . . is up to you.

When in a separated co-parenting scenario, the effects of a narcissistic parent's control and abuse on the family unit are devastating. Narcissistic effects are greater in a separated family than in a cohesive family primarily for 2 reasons:

1. There are individual co-parenting "wants" for perceived best interest of child and best interest of parent

2. Child alone time with narcissist parent

1. Since the parental couple is separated, each parent has individual "wants" connected to parenting related choices that are believed optimal for the child and are also in the best interest for the parent's life (separate from "shared parenting life"). The non-narcissist parent's "wants" are almost always superseded by the narcissist parent's ability to control the "want."

Parental "wants" may be related (but not limited) to the following topics:

• Preference of arrangement with respect to custody scheduled days
• Vacations and needed adjustments regarding time
• Passport want (if separated, requiring signatures of both parents) for travel includes out of country
• Child's enrollment and participation in sports and/or activity
• Monetary support (50/50 or legally agreed upon) with respect to needed timing for enrollment in activities 
• Location choice of school facility for child
• Purchase of school clothing and or any related perceived needs of child's items
• Religious affiliation

The narcissist parent focuses on maintaining a power of position in all situations. Therefore, whatever requests the non-narcissist co-parent may have regarding the child, simply due to the fact that it is a request, desire, or want, the narcissist will refuse and/or withhold giving an answer, permission or financial support (if needed), thus maintaining power and control.

For example if a parent wants to change days of custody share, the answer is "no." If a parent wants to go on a vacation and temporarily adjust time of parental share, the answer is , "no." If a co-parent wants to establish or renew a child's passport requiring a narcissist parent's signature, it is not provided, thus inhibiting travel. If a narcissist parent detects the desire of a co-parent to enroll the child in activities or sports, there is a delayed answer of approval and or denial of financial support. 

Often times when a co-signature is needed and/or 50/50 financial contribution, the deadline will be "missed" by the narcissist parent and the co-parent will not be able to enroll the child.  This type of controlling behavior from the narcissist is not overt. It often goes undetected by surrounding people.  It frequently leaves the co-parent feeling defeated and in a position of not having parenting voice.  Unfortunately, to be free of control, the co-parent must extinguish all desire of outcome for the child in which the narcissist parent needs to be involved.  The more money a co-parent has, the less she is able to be controlled. Yet finances don't buy complete freedom.

"Just learn to co-parent. Put your own egos aside" is often heard from by the outsiders.  They haven't a clue.  For untrained therapists lacking knowledge of true narcissistic dynamics, this erroneous response may also be subtly therapeutically reinforced.  The only research based therapeutic solution to co-parenting with a narcissist is that there is no such thing as co-parenting with a narcissist.

To a narcissistic parent, the "wants" of a child whatever they might be  . . . . don't matter . . . whether a child has an interest in a sport or activity, if the child wants to switch schools or if the child wants to travel is given no consideration by the narcissistic parent. 

To repeat, all decisions made by the narcissist parent are about power,  control and maintaining that status. To repeat, any attachment to support or an outcome for a child (whether overtly asked or not) by the co-parent gives an opportunity for the narcissist parent to put the co-parent in a position of powerlessness.

Unlike a co-parent request for support from a narcissist parent, in many given scenarios, a narcissist parent will unilaterally make decisions with no opportunity for corroboration from co-parent.   A narcissist parent will often disregard (supposed) legally mandated rules necessitating co-parenting approval.  For example, a narcissist parent might baptize a child without the awareness let alone consent of co-parent.  Unfortunately, even if such a thing (as religious affiliation and baptizing of a child) is legally agreed upon, there are often little or no ramifications for a narcissist's abuse of power and control in terms of unilateral parenting.  If legal aid is sought by a co-parent, the narcissist parent often paints the legal picture of the co-parent being anxious, not logical and frantic, over-reacting as usual. 

It is speculated that one reason for the legal system supporting (by not implementing consequences or enforcing mandates) unilateral narcissistic parenting decisions has to do with the fact that often, any voice from the co-parent regarding dismay or disapproval of unilateral parenting decisions by narcissist is typically viewed as an overreaction. 

 Furthermore, imagine a narcissistic co-parenting scenario that escalates to the levels of family court. What personality type do you think is more easily understood in a court situation in which each case is given 20 minutes of attention? The parent who attempts to legally connect all the years of dots and paint the picture of all the convoluted dismissing covert narcissist behaviors of power and control, getting more frustrated with each misunderstanding?  Or the parent who states, "She's got issues. She makes no sense."  Make cents? They do!  If in a narcissistic co-parenting relationship and it can be avoided, stay out of court.  Who cares about religion anyway?  Most of the time, court will only reinforce that religious affiliation selected for by narcissist parent fundamentally isn't important!  (Please note that a narcissist co-parenting situation is being described.  It is not that I support these behaviors as a therapist.  I am simply presenting the reality of our current social structure with respect to legal ramifications or lack there of).

Furthermore in situations where the co-parent has more emotional attachment to an outcome of a narcissist's unilateral choice, her response of disapproval may be further exaggerated in: affect, anxiety, tone, excitability in speech and other forms of demeanor, thus reinforcing perceived "overreaction."

This controlling narcissistic abuse frequently goes unnoticed by friends, age related parents and school personnel. Often, the story of the narcissist parent is believed by surrounding people as it is frequently  convincing, charming and charismatic. A narcissist's version of truth often places the narcissistic parent in the role of hero or savior while the co-parent is deemed "sick".  There are some severe cases where a co-parents' family of origin members and/or extended family "buy into" the narcissist's beguiling views.

For a co-parent with a narcissist to teach, educate and explain the subtle and pernicious methods of narcissistic control to an outsider let alone a judge would be a long convoluted story.  There is no point to such explanations. Current psychological literature attests to the fact that a narcissist victim often appears"crazy" to outsiders as she attempts to give voice to the controlling and abusive decisions let alone the gaslighting behaviors of her narcissist co-parent. 

The narcissist co-parent victim not only feels powerless, but often feels alone as no one hears her truth. A narcissist is not only very skilled at maintaining power and control within the co-parenting relationship, he is also skilled at influencing surrounding social members to view the co-parent in a light of "irrational, sick, demanding, unreasonable, incapable of parenting etc." In a narcissistic co-parenting scenario, the best thing a co-parent can do is stop attempting to defend and/or shed light on her side of story.  Most likely, her attempts at "connecting of the dots" for people's understanding is not only futile, but in attempting to do so, she may even be adding to the likelihood of a negative and erroneous social view of herself.

If a narcissist co-parent has romantic relationships with men or women other than the co-parent, these victims are regularly also viewed as sick.  Sometimes, the repetitious stories increase the co-parent's truth of being validated by society.  Often times, unless the romance partners also have shared kids with the narcissist, they go running for the hills and away from the narcissist.

As sad as it may be, for now, if the co-parent listens well to various social responses, she will stop attempting to get surrounding people to understand her situation.  She will not only silence herself, but she will accept that the child's wants will be further pushed aside in preservation of the narcissist power and control.

As a licensed therapist, I'm sorry to state this approach as being the ideal method of co-parenting with a narcissist as it is obviously not ideal.  It is however, based on the reality of our times.

Aside from decreasing talk about the situation, if one is the co-parent to a narcissistic co-parent, it is best to avoid putting yourself in any situation requiring the narcissist co-parent's money and/or verbal consent.  By following these two therapeutic tips, you will gain more emotional and psychological freedom.

If you are the victim of co-parenting gaslighting and/or narcissistic abuse and/or have a pending family court custody case, my office is in La Jolla, California and I offer in person and international skype sessions that won't sound as callous as this blogpost.  It is important to work with a therapist who understands the impacts of narcissism on a co-parenting family dynamic (including impacts on children and co-parents) as it is unlike any other "normal" co-parenting situation.   
Lily Kotila, M.A., M.A.T. 
(619) 750-2218

2.  A child spends isolated time with the narcissist parent

The more time a child spends in isolation time with the narcissist parent, the more s/he is either pushed into a Scapegoat or Golden Child role.  The more time the child spends alone with the narcissist parent, the more the child's voice and authentic self is shut down.

The child's self becomes replaced by encouraged emulation or projection of the Narcissist's behaviors including way of talking, ways of thinking, approved ways of dressing, interest in activities etc.  Similar to the co-parents voice not mattering to a narcissist parent, the child's voice also doesn't matter.  To a narcissist parent (whether a mother or father), all that matters pertains to the positioning of himself in the role of power, control and reverence. (Maternal narcissism and paternal narcissism present slightly differently as gender socialized roles are different).

When a narcissist parent remains in an in tact family, s/he often has less direct impact on the raising of a child as the non-narcissist parent takes over much of the conditioning, thus lessening the impact on a child's psyche.

www.livin4d.com
Narcissism can also be defined by low oxytocin levels.  Livin4d is a non-pathological approach to understanding differences in social behaviors.  Either therapeutic approach  makes sense.  Your view . . . is up to you.

oXXytocin Biology and Psychology. The "Point? CHANGE" of genetic personalities. How it Works?

 Remember that GG is Blue Personality and AA is Orange Personality.  To help in remembering which color is associated with which genetic personality traits, one might think of “A” as being “Away” (Orange) and “G” as being “Gregarious” (Blue). While these two words represent only one small facet of personality attributes associated with the two colors (representing oxytocin level ranges), they are a good starting point to help you remember the overall differences. 

Aside from these two characteristics, to gain more understanding about the myriad of differences between the two oXXytocin level ranges, you can read more information written in the scholarly articles found at this link: 

Scholarly Articles

There are actually 3 genetic variances (AA, AG, GG) for oXXytocin, known as polymorphic allelic variations located at the primary Oxytocin site on chromosome 3p25.  If there are 3 genetic variances, why are there only 2 genetic colored personality types?

There are only 2 genetic colored personality types: Orange (AA) and Blue (GG), even though there are three polymorphic allelic variations coding for oxytocin levels because the third variation of oxytocin (AG) has attributes that present in a personality type very similar to that of Blue.

The phenotype (presentation) of AG personality, which would be referred to as Green, does not have it’s own assigned personality color because the one G allele overpowers the one A allele, thus pulling it to the increased Oxytocin level side of the spectrum/scale referred to as Blue personality.

(That stated, there are some personality differences between Blue (GG) and Green (AG) as a result of carrying the one G nucleotide or marker in comparison to carrying the two G nucleotides, but differences are minimal so for now, LIVIN4d focuses on two personality types).

To parallel this oxytocin personality trait genetic transmission to the transmission of biological disorders, oxytocin could be considered similar to a point “mutation” (change) but without the personality trait being considered a disease as it does not have deleterious manifestations in the phenotype presentation.  It will be referenced as a “Point Change” to eliminate the “mutation” stigma.

Examples of “point mutations” can be observed in Sickle Cell Anemia or Cystic Fibrosis. Sickle Cell Anemia is located on Chromosome 11 and Cystic Fibrosis is located on Chromosome 7.  Each condition requires only one changed letter on chromosome 11 or 7 for the disease to manifest, similar to the change of an A to a G or vice versa on chromosome 3, manifesting a high or low level oxytocin personality range within a person.

(On a side-note when we more closely examine Sickle Cell Anemia and Cystic Fibrosis, it can be seen that heterozygous genetic carriers of the conditions have genetic and phenotypic assets with respect to the carriers' environments. A Sickle Cell Anemia carrier has a natural immunity to malaria while having no or very little symptoms of sickled hemoglobin.  Individuals carrying Cystic Fibrosis would survive extreme dysentery while having no increased production of mucosal goblet cells.   Science demonstrates that there are many assets to heterozygosity for many genetic diseases, like a win win of both worlds: carriers have the benefit of the disease without having the expressed symptoms.  

In terms of the oxytocin scale, the “would be” green or AG personality type is the genetic heterozygous form of the high levels of oxytocin and the low levels of oxytocin (even though Green’s phenotype (observable traits) is more similar to that of a high level oxytocin scale person).  To parallel this oxytocin personality trait phenotypic transmission to the transmission of biological disorders, the G nucleotide for increased oxytocin could be considered similar to an autosomal dominant disorder in that only one copy of a G is needed for higher levels of oxytocin to occur within an individual.  To repeat, levels of oxytocin are not "disordered."  An analogy is simply being made to transmission of genetic and phenotype traits.

It might be argued that similar to being a carrier for Sickle Cell Anemia and/or Cystic Fibrosis, the “would be” Green personality type has a natural personality “immunity/survival” in that it can travel and relate to all ranges of oxytocin personalities on either side of the spectrum (even though its phenotype manifests more blue personality traits).  Perhaps “would be” Green transcends many limiting effects experienced by being an Orange or Blue. Perhaps "would be" Green is immune to "malaria or dysentery " of the psyche and perhaps we don't yet even know what those are in terms of psyche.

Why the heck does this matter?  Who cares?  

Well, I don't know about the ladder, but it matters because knowing what personality type you are provides you with social navigational precision.  It externalizes innate assets and liabilities such that you can strengthen parts of personality and soften more salients aspects.  It allows for perception and knowing of the self and other in new ways, thus leading to expansion of connection.

Why does the genetic science behind Oxytocin and the mode of transmission matter?

Because most psychological theories and psychological methodologies or ways of understanding of people are subjective.   Color coordinated personalities finally blends true science with psychology.  It's no longer a guesswork of labels.  It goes below the levels of conditioning:  race, gender, age, socioeconomic level.  LIVIN4d is "base"d in truth.  

Speaking of which, I'm sure various "DSM-5 and ICD-10" diagnoses are associated with Blue or Orange personality types.  Eliminate diagnostic bulleted criteria and/or convert "NOS" disorders or those Not Otherwise Specified into diagnosable conditions. . . .if you want.

LIVIN4d is not about pathology.  I'm just imagining the tangential potentials.