Friday, May 20, 2016

Babushka? Is that you? A List of Character Possibilities.

Babushka - a Russian woman who may show up in the morning to get a kid out of bed who doesn't want to go to school.  The Babushka may be very strict, stern and demanding.  She will most likely use a voice with a heavy accent and present as a powerful big woman.  This character of personality will most likely be very different from how the primary personality is in the world.

Creating a separate character space allows for easier access and utilization of this part as it doesn't feel so "out of character" to the individual. Creating the Babushka also deflects a child's anger away from the parent as it is the Babushka who shows up to get the kid out of bed in the morning, not the mother.  If the child gets angry at "mother," the Babushka may even tell the child that she sent her mother away for the morning so they could get to school on time.  This externalization is an example of putting primary ego aside and deflecting emotional engagement resulting in frictional escalation.  The Babushka isn't emotionally affected by relational friction in the same way that a mother would be due to the fact that the Babushka is performing her "job" in which she was hired :)

The Maid Team - When the maid team is called in for a cleaning, they must wear uniforms  . . . aprons and all (which can be made out of garbage bags and duct tape). If the primary cleaner is frustrated and/or doesn't feel appreciated for his/her efforts in cleaning the house, s/he will go "off duty" rather than get angry with other household members, which can result in many different interpersonal issues.  As the primary cleaner is "off duty," the maid team is called in to whip the house into shape.  All members will participate in the cleaning.  Aprons are not gender specific.  An ice cream party can be had at the end of the cleaning.  The primary maid (family member) may take off apron at the end of the cleaning and provide an overall rating and/or inspection with pass/failure status of the home.  (This isn't a dig . . it's cultural. . . to be honest, I don't know what a male version of an apron would look like. . . thoughts?)

The Police An "officer" may show up, having pushed the parent aside in order to evaluate the scene of two fighting children. S/he may have a "pretend walkie talkie" and a note pad of ticket paper to evaluate the scene and social culprits.  Better watch out or you may get a ticket!

  The Umpire - may also get called to plate in order to help make a decision for a close call.  Is the "sibling" safe?  Or is he "out?"  How many strikes does he have? 

Superman or Cheerleader -  
Men will tell you that they don't need kudos for a job well done.  Whether he has just fixed the car, changed a light bulb, picked the kids up from school or made a trip to the grocery store, it is important to honor their efforts.  Creating even just a 30 second space in time to "punctuate" the experience with a symbolic "thank you, appreciated gesture" adds (+) change to feed the relational bank.  Over time, this (+) change is important as it counteracts and balances out the inevitable (-) situations that periodically occur. Emphatically get into the experience.  If you don't want to get into the experience, fine . . .that is what the cheerleader is for!  Don't just moan, "good job." It's "YAY"   . . You can even have the kids participate in acknowledging and honoring dad's efforts.  Cheerleaders don't just talk with their mouths.  THEY CHEER WITH THEIR BODIES TOO!

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