Show and Tell for Adults
When you give compliments given by someone the power to positively affect your psyche, you may increase the likelihood of giving power to that someone's disapproval to negatively affect your psyche.
Start to observe whether or not this concept of power of psyche is true for you within your interpersonal dynamics among people. Notice if some peoples' opinions affect you more than opinions of others. Why do you think this discrepancy might be the case?
Notice how their opinions whether (+) or (-) shape your mood and/or how you think, feel and respond to the person shortly after offered opinion. Notice how others' opinions affect your decision making process on XYZ content.
Remember Show and Tell . . . .Kindergarten?
I wish there would be a designated place for adult show and tell. When people are excited about something and want to show it off, how fun it would be to have a designated space to do such a thing.
In these designated spaces, just like in Kindergarten, there would be unconditional sharing positive regard. No sideways questions with underpinning motives or intended directional outcome.
In Show And Tell, there isn't such a thing as "constructive criticism."
- A kid doesn't bring in his stuffed dog to be met with: "Why'd you get a stuffed dog? Why didn't you get a rabbit?"
- A kid doesn't bring in a painting to be met with: "Why did you use those paint colors? Red and purple would have been better. Let me teach you how painting really works. "
Somehow....As beings move away from childhood into adulthood, they find it necessary to frequently insert their opinions in unasked for spaces, which can result in a response of "Shove it up your A."
As there is no designated show and tell space for adults and adults have pull, push, sideways, opinionated, defeating and assumption based commentary much of the time....When sharing something with other .. . . It may be helpful to preface the share:
the intention of the share, directed focus of the listener and acceptable guidelines for response. Of course not all conversations have to be delineated with outlines. You will know which content is emotionally charged based on your relationship to self and other as well as past events such that you will know which topics it may be important to place talk parameters.
Talk Parroters might sound like:
- "I'm not looking to discuss or dialogue anything, I just want to tell you. . ..and I'm super sensitive to your eye-rolls . . .would it be ok if we taped your eye-lids in place? (kidding). Can you be aware of it as much as possible?"
- "The angle I'd like your focus to be is whether or not this shirt looks better with respect to my eyes? I'm not searching for commentary on the whole outfit or that you prefer the pink outfit I already eliminated from the option pile. I'm not looking for which shirt you think looks better on my body. I'm just asking which one you think looks better with respect to my eyes. Ok? (Then, if you, the speaker are open to it, you may state . ..after I get this specific answer regarding my eyes, if you want to add anything else of your own opinion, I'll be open to hearing it at that point).
- "Can I vent something to you with no feedback other than letting me know you heard me?" (See parrot in Show and Tell picture above).
- "I'm curious what your thoughts are on the interaction that took place between my friend and me at the sports arena. I know that you know my friend's and my past dynamics, and I know how you feel about her. I don't want to reference the past issues in this dialogue, I'm not looking for your overall opinions about how you feel about her. I am only curious to hear you're perspective on this specific interaction that happened at the sports arena, in particular, her tone of voice."
- "I'm at the beginning of this endeavor and as it is not yet fully fortified in formation, I am not open to have it compared to other scenarios or ideas of others. I am also not looking to have any potential problems be pointed out, nor am I looking for a delineation of all aspects of the larger picture. I am looking for feedback on this specific concept."
Setting parameters for what your want in a talking exchange can help connection rather than friction as it creates the a type of show and tell parameters and guidelines that come naturally to kids.
Show and Tell Parameters for adults is thera-payrrot prevention in comparison to therapeutic aftermath. Be logical. Apply the Power of Parroting Parameters.
See the diagram above with the Show and Tell kids in their various shirt colors: purple, red, blue and white stripe and pink? See the parrot in the bird cage? See the acceptable grid-lines of contained talk between and among colors representing various topic responses?
It's the latitude and longitude of language!
Parrot - "Rosetta got a stone. Rosetta got a stone. The fastest way to navigate languAGE."
In life, it's fabulous to focus on positive language and directional pruning. That said, when constructing the focus for the listener with languitude and latitude parameters, it is much more 'Fe'bull-louse to share what you don't want instead of sharing what you want, because it decreases the likelihood of listener's insertion of unwants or bending of the bars resulting in decreasing 'blood'shed.
AND ....After stating the unwants, if there are any inserted unwants from the listener, it becomes abundantly clear that the listener is being disrespectful, bull-dozing, un-empathetic. Call him/her out on his bull-Dosing.
If calling him out will only cause more escalation of friction and Sting. . ..Open the cage, raise your bar, fly away or "Let Your Sole Be Your Pilot." In the bigger picture, your aerial view may result in you realizing your are not the "PAIRROT's Bride" and/or that Mercury's (Hg) Felling.
Basically, follow the Parrot equation of lines or say goodbye to the chemistry.
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